Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Introvert vs. Extrovert

What does it mean to be an introvert? Dictionary.com defines it as: a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings. Being an introvert does not mean being quiet or lacking confidence. As an extrovert with an introverted father, it was always hard to communicate and find a common ground in what we would talk about and how we would talk about it.

Our first shared interest: baseball. He would take me to Wrigley Field and we would talk about the cubs and who the best players were. Then we were able to share comedy. As I got older and was able to watch actual stand-up comedy and understand the jokes, and my dad and I gained a report and were able to talk to each other as never before.

When I was younger, I didn't know what the difference between an introvert and an extrovert was. To learn the difference click here.



Communication between an introvert and an extrovert  can be difficult if both parties are not looking out for the other's interest. For an extrovert, be careful to give an introvert time to think and respond about what they are going to say because that's important to them. For an introvert, understand that an extrovert often acts or speaks before thinking and can run into a lot of problems because of that. For introverts and extroverts to communicate effectively each party needs to be forgiving and understanding.

Introvert and extroverts are nearly opposites, but it is true what they say: opposites attract. The best relationships or friendships between people I have witnessed have been between introverts and extroverts. Both need each other for the relationship to work.

One is not better than the other, each are just very different from the other. It is also important to recognize that being an intro or extrovert isn't a dichotomy, it's a spectrum. A spectrum that would often look like the one below.



Whether you identify for as an introvert or more as an extrovert, remember that other types of people exist in the world and their perspectives matter. Communicating with them doesn't come naturally, but in the end gaining their knowledge and their perspective is worth the uncomfortably felt.

Between my father and I, we have figured out many different things we can talk about while satisfying both our needs in communication and otherwise. It has taken me seventeen years, but I'm finally able to have a long standing and healthy relationship with my father.

1 comment:

  1. Awesome post Melissa! I appreciate how you discussed the dynamics of your relationship with your father. I consider myself somewhere between an introvert and ambivert, and I grew up with a family of extroverts. I was often dubbed the quiet, shy one who didn’t have much too say. In reality, I probably had more to say than most. I simply preferred to process it internally. I struggled to connect with my extended family when I was younger because I did not see them frequently enough to open up. However, I eventually learned to find common ground, as you and your father did. Working as a cashier also forced me to interact with people and do what every introvert dreads: small talk. While initially difficult, I am thankful for my work experience because it instilled a new confidence in me. Introverts and extraverts may communicate/think differently, but all that matters is that they are able to connect with each other somehow. Great post! :)

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